i came a long way from where i was at earlier this year. in march i weighed in at 209 pounds. 8 months later I'm 169. I could've weighed less right now but let's not get into that. I had my screw ups, binges, plateaus, and discouragements but i never gave up. I will never give up becoming thin. It's the only way I can truly be happy.
To be able to look good in anything, to be able to be confident and happy, to be able to turn heads, to be able to have prominent bones, to be able to move on from my unhappiness and depression.
That's the reason why I'm doing this. I came too far to quit now. I need to be under 130 pounds by my May graduation. I have to resist my urgent food cravings of the foods that put me over 200 pounds. I have to do this for the younger me that started my pro-ana blog at only 15 years old, the younger me that wanted to die and felt so low about herself.
I snack on fruit to get rid of the hunger. I drink lots of water to keep myself full. I look at tons of skinny, beautiful girls I wish I could be like right now. I weigh myself daily to keep track of my weight loss. I skip meals. I barely eat. I look at my body in the mirror. I suck in my stomach.
I can't wait until I reach my goal weight. I get so anxious and excited thinking about how my body would look and how confident I'd be. I can truly become myself and not let my weight consume my thoughts. I'd look the best I ever looked in my entire life! Just thinking about it motivates me right now as I'm typing.
I can't wait any longer. I need to be skinny asap. By the end of 2015, I NEED to be 155 or under! No exceptions. Then by the end of January I need to be under 145. The following months I need to be 10 pounds lighter than before. No more unnecessary binges, no more plateaus, no more screw ups.
